No turning back

So long mister Blog.....Till we meet again. (No net conexion where I will be living till who knows when)
All thats left is to dismantle my computor and pack my vehicle.I am leaving at 6am tomorrow (Saturday)

I am physically exhausted from packing and cleaning, besides that, I took my vehicle in for a service, spent ages on the phone notifying everyone about my change of details and also spent time with the security company who will be monitoring my home.



I am now going to call it a night.
I am strong... I'm invincible......I am womun!!!!
I will survive.....{{{legs shaking...knees knocking}}}

Two more days left, then I'm on my way to a new life. I will depart early Saturday morning in order to avoid driving into the setting sun. The trip will take aprox. six hours at a good pace, so this will give me time to take a break halfway through the journey and reach my destination well before night fall, providing I do not get lost.



I have been informed that the area I will be residing in does not have telephone cables laid as yet, and also that it will take months before it is actually done. This means that I will not have acess to the web for many months....Moan!


I am really going to miss comunicating with my friends across the globe on icq and msn messenger, most of all I will miss reading peoples blogs, especially shirl the pearl who always has something to share. Shirl is the warmest person I have met through blogger, she has a heart of gold and transmits alot of positive energy. Thank you Shirl for been here for me, should you one day decide to visit South Africa, I will down all tools to welcome you as my honoured guest.(You have my email)

Two more days to go before I leave Durban. I am still battling to sort out what to take and what to get rid of. I wish my home was on wheels, then all I would have to do is tow it.I am battling to get things done. I have so much to do and so little time, but all I really want to do is sleep. What happened to my energy???

Here is my horoscope for Today 02 October 2002

Today's cosmic influences will highly encourage moving into a new home or setting up a family. you're taking up strength for the challenges of the coming weeks

This afternoon, I went to my ex place of employment to bid my final farewell. When I arrived, the braaivlies was well on it's way and everyone was waiting for me. It was very sad as everyone had tears in their eyes, but the sadest part of all was when my boss attempted to make a speach with a heart that was clearly broken.It was the first time that he openly cried in front of the staff.

Hi mr blog,… I’m Back.
All I want to do is sleep forever, thereby shutting out the world. I am about to begin a new life on my own strength, with borrowed money, in a place that is strange to me, leaving behind my beautiful city of birth and laid-back life-style. I could… (1) Carry on the way I am and work till the day I die due to no pension scheme or compensation. (2) Go on been victimised by my employer’s domineering girlfriend until she manages to get rid of me as she threatened. (3) Pent-up my feelings and grow inner misery while eating humble pie to a person I rely on for my daily bread and who will go on taking me for granted due to the fact that I will have no choice but to accept conditions or be kicked out.
I came to realise that my future here is very insecure, so hence my decision to seek my fortune elsewhere while I still have the stamina. Oh boy! I need to keep positive so before I start mentioning my fear, I better change the subject.

It is great to know there are people out there who think of me. I received numerous phone calls, cards and emails wishing me a happy 50th birthday. It truly meant a lot to me. You may see me as a lonely ugly old soul but, to the contrary, I am in excellent health, have no grey hairs… yet! Look 35yrs, posses the physical form of a teenager and feel 21. The crown on top is; I have 50yrs of wisdom and life experience.
When I mentioned my hormone implants recently, a friend queried it and then, amusingly figured out the plus side of it. Hehehe.. Yes! It has been great not having to remember sanitary towels as a shopping item and yes, it does overwhelmingly increase sexual urges, but been a woman of high morals and integrity, I have thus far managed to restrain myself. I do not believe in using people for complacency or visa versa, as I believe there is often a price to pay one way or another. I have dignity, so to hell with what others think or believe. The reason I have HRT is due to my body been unable to produce it naturally. (This been discovered during my early 30’s. while undergoing chemotherapy. Hope this explains it).

The reason I do not have a partner is because love and soul-mate, is significant in my vocabulary, it is also a true feeling from both sides. Men, I have discovered, are very weak in this regard so they should not blame the women for their messed up lives. To-date, I have not found a compatible male and ‘will not’ con anyone or mess up my or anyone’s life for my self- esteem. Geez… I must give the impression that I am a very hard stubborn woman. The truth is, (as well known) … I am very submissive, kind, loving, timid and apprehensive lady who stands firmly on the ground no matter what the circumstances


Everybodies searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who could fill my needs
A lonely place to be… and so I learnt to depend on me
I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed at least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all


I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be


Whitney Houston’s emotional expression when singing is so strong and meaningful. The lyrics of most of her songs remained me so much of myself; my daughter connects me to many as well.

It's my leave!!! I decided to take a break from monotony so...... Don't cry for me Argentina>>>here I come!

The ringing phone brought me to reality. A voice on the other end said “Eve, it is Monday” In my confused anaesthetised state, I calmly replied, “ Oh! Is it– okay– I’m on my way” The voice asked,” Did you know it’s Monday.” “Umm–er, yes, umm…. er–i’m confused, thanks for calling–I’ll see you now” said I, before replacing the receiver. On climbing out of bed, I glanced at the clock, ‘11 .30’ it mocked. Checking to see if I had set the alarm proved that I did know it was a working day, ‘I wonder why I did not hear it?’

Before leaving work, my staff decided to help me with my dilemma of not knowing the day of week and sleeping through the sound of the alarm. (My alarm btw rings for 1hr at 2min intervals)
From tomorrow onwards, I will get a wake up call and I will not have to recover on the loo, for the person who calls, will chat to me until I am fully conscious. (Bless their hearts).

Despite starting work at 12.15pm, I managed to get through all the chores in a calm relaxed manner; chatting patiently with clients and reps, reprimanding the security company for keeping me till 7pm on Friday while attempting to repair the alarm system as per their telephonic instructions, then having to leave the premise unsecured for the weekend. (Needless to say, their service was cancelled due to lack of professionalism)
I even managed to keep my humour when the tax department called to say, ‘according to their records, I have not submitted a return for April 2000,’ Hehe… I’m actually getting to like these people, I love proving them wrong and pointing out their mistakes. (Wastes a lot of valuable time on my side though)

During the course of day, I also reflected on my life and how I came to be the person I am. My dreams (while a submissive young woman and even now at times, isolated as I have become) it seems, may never materialize, as circumstances have altered my character and outlook. I prepared myself to be a succumbing loving wife and homemaker but have become instead, a dominant, independent, strong willed woman who can handle almost any situation. It is true that I have no problem giving orders to anyone in the line of duty or otherwise, who by the way, follow and accept without blinking an eyelid.

I actually shed a little tear of self-pity and wished that things could be different. Oh! What has become of that sweet shy young woman who wanted nothing more than to give love and be loved? Who still feels that way, but is confused by the meaning of it. Will she ever find and be able to accept the warmth of love that she has never experienced but yearns for so desperately.

Geez!… blogging is baaad. It gets to my mind and yanks out my feelings. I should stop this……I blame Jeeem for this. He introduced me to Mr blog

I've lost my archives.... just can't seem to get them back

The music on my first poetry site is " NEWS" and the second site is "LONGING"

Read and enjoy....please don't steal.

As usual, I had a very relaxing day. I have decided to shut my mind off from all tasks and spend my time reading, listening to good old time music and doing the one thing I always do best (relaxing)

At the end of this month, I will be moving to my new destination to set up my business. Once done, there will be opportunities for young entrepreneurs and many people will be employed through my venture. I will teach my young brother the tricks of the trade and once the bank loan is settled, I will retire and hand the company over to him. I know that it will be in capable hands and also that he will go a long way with it and visa versa.

Well,well, jeeem has a woman in his life again. Way you go guy! "Hope this time it works for you". If not, hey casanova, you still have lots of time in your life and many more woman to enjoy. Thats the joy of been single.
Oh! don't forget the secret of yerba mate. Haaa,haaa ...Happy rocking

Amazing! And to be honest, I can't stop myself. It is almost as though I'm been "led by the hand and also in mind"

Here is your horoscope for Tuesday 10th September 2002

Like a bee, you'll be hopping from flower to flower today. Of course, there is a certain satisfaction in this game, but watch out you don't upset your partners. On the business side, it's all go. On full power and determined to reach your goals, you'll be heading forward at a giant's pace. Don't crush anyone on your way though...

My day was once again perfect even though I spent it alone as usual. Though the weather was beautiful, I decided to stay indoors because of the slight pain I am experiencing due to hormone treatment.

At sunset, I stood at my open door marvelling the beautiful reflections then, staring into space, I drifted into the cosmos as usual; the place where I rejuvenate my soul and energize my mind.

The earth is beautiful, I am happy to be a part of it. Every existing organism is uniquely created and perfectly calculated to perform different functions, thereby complementing and sustaining each other.

Humans, animals, birds, insects, fish, plants, rivers, sand and stones, are in various shapes, sizes and colours, each complementing beauty, adding diversity and signifying identity. One species cannot survive without the other, for each has a vital role on this planet. E.g.– without humans, the earth would become an overgrown jungle, and without the plants etc. man cannot exists.

Man has “pre-eminence” and the freedom of thought to make decisions. His duty is to safeguard creation for future life, while at the same time enjoying existing life and all it offers.

The world is in disarray today because of man’s ignorance. ‘No man’ on this earth is more prominent than another; each and everyone’s knowledge or deed is complementary to performances. People need leaders and visa versa, doctors’ patients, builders’ labourers, etc. The vagabond teaches compassion, the so called imbecile is saying, “ Hey! Swallow your pride; humility reaps more benefits”

The majority of humans are self-seeking. Life on earth is short lived, but instead of enjoying it to the fullest while living in harmony, they become egotistic, wanting as much power as they can muster. Greed destroys not only ones-self, but also the world in general. A self-regarding man is conceited, he is the ‘most unintelligent’ being on earth, for when his life is through; he is no better than the man he looked down upon.

♥===♥===♥===♥

I typed the above as soon as I came back to/from reality. People often ask where I drift off to in my tranquil state. Actually, it is no secrete, just difficult to explain. What I do feel though is an overwhelming sense of free will and contentment.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH JEEEM

Hee..hee... Jeeem never fails to amuse me. It is therefore no surprise that,
"I am addicted to him."

I promised I would send some yeba mate for him to try but, Uh..oh.....
Jeeem is Jeeem. My God! I cannot stop crying with laughter. (Thank you Jeeem, you must know how much I love laughter) Tomorrow, he will receive my package and guess what! hehehe..... Yes!... more yeba mate to add to his years.

Jeeem and I almost had another distant fight. I say almost, because he had the audacity to tell me to go to bed due to ‘me’ been cranky and pissy. Mr blog, this is what happened: He told me to hang on, while he answered his phone, then unknown to me, Mr Jeeem decided to change the colour of his font or background on his chat message board. After half an hour, with me sitting, waiting, and staring at his blank message section, I decided to log off. It was then, that he sent an instant message through icq telling me that I was cranky.
Geezzzz…..Even if I were cranky, would you blame me?  It turns out that Jeeem, my wonder guy, had been typing his messages for ½ hr in a font that was the same colour as ‘my’ board’s background colour. Lol…. I wonder what I missed, while he typed for his eyes only.

ICQ conversasion, after 1/2hr on jeeems blank message board

Jeeem:  You turkey...

ME: what happened to you.... are you off to bed?

What happened to ME??? You hung up on me

you have acted very very strange

No I haven't.....I think you need some sleep baby....

you left me hanging here for a very long time

No I didn't. I wrote back to you but you were gone. If I did, I am sorry...

you only started writting to me when I said it was your bed time

No, not true...I had been writing to you for a while but it appeared you were not seeing my writing or you were not making sense of my writing. I accidentally switched fonts and then you started acting funny, singing to yourself and saying you were confused

lol..... thats because all I was looking at was your blank screen..... so i then decided to close off... as I thought you had forgotten about me

Oh Eve....now it is time for your bed. You are getting cranky and pissy again. ....goodnite.

geez... I am far from cranky or tired... but I am very confused though.... now you are making me feel as though i am pissy.

Let it go Eve.....It was a glitch in the ICQ chat is all...not important...I am still here aren't I? 

yep....But I had to explain myself...... I am a woman you know

Yes you are .....and to a man, that is the MOST CONFUSING THING IN THE WORLD

man is the most confusing thing to a woman

Touche

oh yeah....you are no different to us

Well, that is comforting

♥ ♠ ♥
♠ ♥

Yesterday, I opened my business account and was given a cheque book,credit card and debit card. I am now dealing with three seperate banks. I must start deciding to close some accounts as I am getting very confused. Gosh it's so difficult to get a business loan from banks, yet they have no problem handing out credit cards. If I had to make use of all the credit i'm allowed, I, and the banks would go bankrupt. 

Today I finally finished all the nitty-gritty stuff that the banks wanted from me. Phew... I hope it's the last. I really, really need a break before I move onto the next stage.

Here is your horoscope for Sunday 1st September 2002    

Who's going to lie down and relax when there's all this work to get done? Definitely not you - always the first one to jump in and get busy. You're thinking, moving, innovating and climbing relentlessly - and if you feel you need to stop and think a while, just remember that part comes later, so till the sun sets, there's no time to waste.

Well, as I mentioned before.......My horoscopes this year has been, and still is amazingly accurate. I wonder if all people born under this sign are experiencing what I am, or if the solar system is projecting its energy solely on me.

Well, no time to ponder on that, all I know is that I am me. Ummm… this brings to mind converse between Jeeem and myself during the early stage of our friendship. (Tongue in cheek)

ME:You ask so many questions at once and I don't know where to start, but I do enjoy your fantasy which it is not far fetched from the truth. It is difficult for me to go into a world of fantasy as I gave it up years ago when I realised that fantasies can be far from reality. In our fantasy world, everything is beautifully perfect, as we create images and feelings of our desires. Faced with the same situation in reality (realism) we can be very disappointed, as there are forces involved that do not exist in our fantasy world

 HE:Ah.....but you tweak my interest in such a way that my mind is flooded with questions about you and where you live. I'm glad my fantasy is not too far from the truth as that is what my mind has created. I understand the way you think my darling but you are sharing a blog with a true dreamer. When I was but a child, I came home with report cards bearing the words, "Jimmy is such a dreamer. Jimmy lives in a fantasy world." Perhaps that is where my writing comes from.

I do not want to create fantasies, I prefer to live in reality where, I can explore discover learn and enjoy every moment as it is; while at the same time building it to reach higher goals. What I’m trying to say is; I live in actuality and am therefore seldom disappointed. Every experience I encounter is to my advantage. I do not live my life on expectation nor do I harbour pains from the past.

I beg to differ with you my sweet lady. My fantasy world is never beautifully perfect. It is made up of prior experiences both bad and good, rich and poor, sweet and sour. I have experienced disappointment and although those memories are sad, I know that I will experience them again. I live or try to live as fully as I can, realizing that life is full of risks. I do not set myself up for disappointment as I do not delude myself in convincing myself I will never be let down. Your reality is yours Eve my love, it is not mine.
Reality, to an individual, is what that individual makes of it, so yours is unique. My reality has several dimensions. Most beliefs are born basically on two levels....historically and through authority We move through life with expectations based largely on our beliefs and experiences.

You prefer to live in reality. That is fine. I question reality as well as authority on reality as it is only theoretical. That is what I prefer. I do not worry about disappointment because I feel it is a choice and relative to one's beliefs. 

Another thing I loved about Alison was her optimism. She is an optimist, like me, learning to always try and look at the optimistic view rather than make life more miserable by being pessimistic. This is the one quality that I do not care for in you Eve. It often saddens me but my opinion is that we all have a choice in life. Mine is to always look on the bright side. (Ouch)

I can tell from reading your words and the way you talk that you have strength. I admire that. Unlike you, I cannot say that I do not live my life according to expectations. I would call them goals and I think I have gotten to a point in my life where I do not get very disappointed if my expectations are not met but rather readjust and take another path in my life.

Yes Jim, I do have inner strength and intelligence. I seldom show it around people, though it does come through when they take advantage of me. I think my gentle outward approach to life is deceiving as I enjoy laughter and fooling around. Also, as I am often on a different wave length many under estimate me. It does not actually bother me in the least for most times I'm confused about myself anyway.

Well, well, talk about confusion...

 Musing moments spent with Jeeem are always a welcome break. Thanks to him I managed to keep my sanity through the past stressful months.

Thanks Jeeem, You are the greatest guy in the world....mmmmaaaauuhh!

Duh...uh.... My dream book refuses to accept my message. Shirl, this is for you.......

Your chosen topic touched me and suspense kept me awake to read every follow up entry; so staying awake with you was really worth while.
I gave up mailing your chosen charity...They probably don't have time to read their mail.


Aaahhh!!!..... The full body massage!... (d-r-e-a-m).........
s - m - i - l - e ... *wink*

STUPIDLY GOOD

I was prepared for sex
Preceded by wordplay foreplay.
The orchestra was ready,
The choreography right.


You were you; slithery, soft-spoken,
Sometimes slow and steady,
Sometimes sharp and jerky.
Like a gekko on the ceiling with a piece of cheese.


Absent friends, spouses and exes,
Values, visions, views and chains,
As we talked of human nature
I sensed your wings rustling behind you.


No longer were we man and woman.
No more comradeship of the damned.
I was prepared for sex
I was shocked to find goodness.

By Gabriel Donleavy

I could really do with a full body massage right now. I am taking a bit of strain due to burning the candle at both ends. During the day I am fully focused on my soon to be past job, and at night, till the early morning, I concentrate on the setup and running of my upcoming company.

I will be kicking off with an ice- cream manufacturing factory and seperate parlour and once established, will start franchising. My company will be manufacturing and retailing an exclusive upmarket ice-cream made with fresh natural ingredients and our range will be diversified. Our most popular flavours will be chocolate, dulce de leche, stawberry ripple, double caramel, actually you name it, we will make it.

I don't have time for the net right now. I would like to keep up my blog but it is impossible. I do hope to find the occassional break though to jot down my experiences. On the whole I am happy and still inlove with life. I am always contented as I never concentrate on the downside. When I am faced with a problem, I deal with it. If I cannot change it, I accept it and find a way to enjoy it. Life is too short, I don't want to spent it feeling miserable. What I do want, is to leave it with no regrets and have others remember me with joy

I feel a new energy flowing through my veins. From today, I will be spending alot of time preparing for my move.
I have never taken horoscopes serously and always smirked at it, but this year everything has been so so acurate to the point of amazing me.
Here is todays:-


Here is your horoscope for Sunday 11th August 2002

You’ll probably need to take care of your health today and focus on making big changes in your life. You’re being asked to give up some of your time and care for others around you. It’s definitely a good time to let go of control and console someone who is in pain. Share some of that inside wisdom of yours.

I Love you all♥♥
"Eve"

I had my final interview at the bank here in Durban and there is no doubt that the bank in Johannesburg will grant the loan to set up my business. The Government will Guarantee 80% of the bank loan and I am throwing in everything I own for my 10% risk. In a months time I will relocate to Johannesburg. Until then, I need to regain my strength. My nerves are shot, which is definitely not good, so I really need to pull myself together in order to carry on.

After I revealed my independent venture to my employer, he waited silently to see if I were serious, and if the bank would actually grant a loan. (He blatantly told me that I would be lucky if they did) This week, when things finally worked in my favour, he asked me to consider using my loan to start his first franchise in Johannesburg because his company is well known and it will be to my advantage. He went on to say that he is going to set up a factory in Johannesbugh and will give me first offer for a percentage and that I could managing it however I chose, but if I do not accept his offer he will train someone and do it anyway.

Huh... I got this far alone.

He is seen me as an opportunity for his self benefit.

All these years he refused to consider uplifting me as part of his company and kept me hidden in the background like a nobody.

If he had said’ we could help ‘each other’ to progress, It would be worth discussing.

.
I will not be used for his benefit and have him and his fiancé proclaim that he helped me get where I am.


No soiree... I have nothing to consider. More to the point, "I will establish myself."

Jeeems Post Friday, July 26, 2002 is so true. It has driving me to point out that many of us know exactly how and why he feels the way he does.

What! You never married! Are you happy?
Yes! No doubt about it, I have no regrets either. I am the oldest girl, born one year, seven months after my brother. Eight juniors joined us one after the other. Life was tough for me, I had to be a good example to the gang before I even knew how or what it meant, as well as be responsible for them. My parents, who obviously had a healthy sex life, continuously bickered at each other and mom always took her mood out on me. I had no time for myself and had to study between or while doing household chores and taking care of the gang. I am not grousing about it though, as I really loved my siblings as much as they loved me, though I often wondered if my parents loved ‘me’, or if I were actually their child. It was during that tender age in my life that I became afraid of marriage. I did not want a gang of children and I did not want to spend my life fighting with a husband. I wanted to be happy.

.

When I reached the age of eighteen, I met a guy, and later, I felt attached to him. He was eleven years older then me, but I loved his warmth and kindness even though he seldom took me out. He visited me most evenings and we would sit on the veranda of my home, laughing and chatting for hours. Four years later, mom decided that the two of us should get married. He on the other hand, often spoke about us marrying, but… he said he wanted everything to be perfect for me and that he was preparing a home for us.

Mom assumed that I did not want to leave the happy nest so she forced me to fly away by telling me that it was time for me to build my own life. She told my dad that if I did not leave, she would. My dad, whom I saw as a man with no guts, told me that he had other children to consider, that he did not want them to be left without a mom and also, that he too felt I should get married. I think I should mention here, that I was not very well at that time. During the past two years, I felt myself growing weaker and weaker. The doctors were treating my symptoms and dosing me with medication for weight loss, dizzy spells, nausea, Psychological problems and nervous syndrome. Mom on the other hand, said I was just plain lazy and looking for attention.

I had no option but to pack my clothes and find my way in life. It was not easy as I had a strict secluded upbringing. (People in our surrounding area referred to my home as, “the convent”) My mom never allowed me to attend parties unless accompanied by a family member, neither was I allowed to take friends home, for my house chores were considered more important. Needless to say I had very few acquaintances and was afraid of life beyond my home.

You are probably thinking that I moved straight in with my boyfriend. Wrong! My so-called boyfriend, who by then had his own flat which I was helping to furnish (All he bought was a bed and a hi-fi) said he did not think it was wise, as it would ruin my reputation. From that moment onwards, I lived a gypsy life and learnt the facts about people and life. It was during these years that I learnt it was every man for him-self. Despite my illness, which was getting worse, (My weight had dropped to 37lbs) I developed a strong character through having to stand my own ground and fight the battle of survival alone.

Anyway, before I start writing a novel here. My illness was due to a large tumour in my womb as well as a cancerous ovary. During that stage in my life, I wanted more than ever before; to die, but alas, it was not to be. Instead, I survived all odds, and at the age of twenty-seven, the birth of my only daughter gave me a new lease for life. I did not marry her father, my so-called boyfriend, which was a very hard but wise decision. I discovered while pregnant, that he was a bum, and later, I realised he did not take tablets due to suffering migraines. He was actually an alcoholic and drug addict, and because he lost me ‘and’ his other woman; who married 3mths after they split, I became the target of his violent behaviour. To date my daughter has no problem declaring that she has no good thoughts about him and does not want him in her life.

I had scars and psychological problems to deal with, both in my child and in myself. I somehow knew I would not last in a relationship due to this and also, I did not think it was right to expect her to accept a man in my life and visa versa.
Therefore, I chose to commit myself to her as a single parent. I was not only mom and dad to her, but her best friend as well. Together, we built ourselves up and helped each other to put our hurt and fears behind us. “I have known no greater love.” Our love will last forever.

I am a grandma today, she is a mom, and just like a mom, she says, “it’s time you found a companion.” (My daughter taught me the meaning of true love, happiness and courage)

My heartiest congratulations to Shirl. She made it through 24hrs of blogging. I was very touched by her chosen topic about life with her brother JR. as well as moved by the support given to her by her friend Lynn. I stayed quietly in the background till the early hours of the morning, keeping a watchful eye on her, and when I could no longer stay awake, I retired, knowing that she was going to make it; even more so with her wonderful friend Lynn's encouragement. I visited other bloggers as well during the course and truly admired their will power in support of their chosen charity. On my behalf I say, my contributions were well earned and deserved. Well done everyone.


Jeeem on the other hand, seems to be going through mid life crises or male menopause. I have to agree with him though that single life is the best. Hang in there sweetheart! You have come through the worse so believe me; you do know what is best for you

So far so good.
My interview at the bank went very well, and the challenging manager was very impressed. After the interview, he handed me a mountain of documents to fill in, which he will send to the bank in Johannesburg on my behalf, with a letter of recommendation. I was right about not having enough money as surety for the large loan I am requesting, but the bank manager here in Durban says that my experience and motives will be taken into account, and he feels that I should get the loan. Well, It's back to more paper work for me and then more anxiety as I wait to hear what the bank in Johannesburg decides. Should I be turned down, I will consider writing to the president.


Anyway, while I wait for things to transpire, I am going to start dancing again, in order to give my mind a much-needed break. Once the loan comes through, I am going to work very, very hard. It is at times like these that I wish I had the strength of a man to lean on. If I were a male or had a male at my side, things would have been easier and I would have been on my way ages ago. It is tough to be a lady in a male’s world. Especially when having to convince people that she is very capable of doing a job that only men are doing currently. We always have to prove things right down to the nitty gritty before we are even considered. I am not a woman’s libber, nor do I compete with men. As a matter of fact, I am very feminine. It just so happens that I am not afraid of hard work, especially when I can help many others through my deeds.

"I am a Great Aunt"..... hehehe
Take a look at my "great niece"

My home is filled with unused items and knickknacks that I’ve been holding onto for years, in case I may one day need them. Today, I made a mental note to spend this weekend making a collection for charity. I have a feeling though that this is going to be very, very difficult, as I will definitely need most of the items one day, and will hate myself when I have to replace them at an exorbitant price.

This morning, upon my arrival at work, I received a phone call from the bank’s valuator. He asked if I could meet him at 10am my place, so he could value my home. I left work at 9.35am, reckoning that I would need 20min head time in order to tidy my bed, shove strewn clothing into a closet, used dishes into the sink, and a few minutes to compose myself. However, things did not work as calculated, for as I reached my home, the valuator pulled up. “Gulp!”…..

I escorted him into the house, telling him to excuse the disorder. “That’s okay, you live alone” he said, while jotting the size of my neat living room. I remained silent, not knowing if his response was a statement or question. “Dining area” he said; or asked, as he glanced in that direction. “Yip” I responded; noticing for the first time, the obscured table under a pile of scattered paperwork. He did not say kitchen, or ask if the kitchen was a kitchen so I guess he knew it was a kitchen.

He looked into the first room. Umm …I was about to apologise, but quickly corrected myself. ‘Why should I apologise, it’s ‘my’ home’ “Junk room” I said. Just before he peered into the next room, I introduced it as the spares room. Next was the WC. No comments made here as he jotted down bath, toilet, and hand basin. En-suite he remarked, as he entered my bedroom and walked into the wash-chamber. After jotting that section he walked back into the bedroom, jotted it in his book, then stood there looking very relaxed as his eyes wondered around. Once again, I felt no need to make an excuse for the disarray of clothing and bed that was very neat on one side and jumbled on the other. “It’s my place so I can do as I please”

My room must have felt cosy to him because he stood there a while taking it in, while chit chatting to me about my job. Back in the living room, he once again stopped to photograph the place with his eyes and comment on items within. Because of his relaxed disposition, it was actually very pleasant chatting to him. I put this down to the fact that, due to his work, he is accustomed to feeling comfortable in people’s homes. I have experienced a number of occasions when, having to have something repaired in my home, the man would look very uncomfortable or, be very translucent while trying to compose himself, or he would appear to be in a hurry to get away. Sometimes I feel so sorry for men, as it is at times, very difficult for them to hide a feeling that is natural to them. This been one reason why I learnt to repair items around my home which cannot be taken to workshops.

Anyway, while I pondered this back at work, Flash…. My home scene struck my mind.
Ooops!… A few months back, while dabbling with photography, I took a few ultra-revealing self-photographs and because I was so pleased by the outcome, I printed a couple and proudly displayed them on my bedroom wall. Later, while wondering if I should dispose of the stuffed toys heaped in the corner, I nonchalantly started pairing them off. Hee,hee… I actually liked it, so I placed them in couples, around the place. Some are chatting and some are making out. Heehaw… actually looks good.

Now I know why the bank’s assessor spent more time measuring my bedroom. My bet is that his stuffed toys will come out of the closet, and displayed in glory

What Was Your PastLife?

Striking municipality workers across the country are adamant in their demand for a 10% salary increase across the board. They are now entering the third week of their strike, getting out of hand, causing havoc, and threatening the workers who were temporary employed to clean up the city. They are saying that the municipality can afford to meet their request because it has no problem paying interim workers.

I have just read Jeems blog and notice that he is conveying his intelligence to the world by pointing out that an error in words can fry maggots, worms and lava…eh…I mean larvae. He goes on to say that I am going to kick his butt, for correcting me. Umm… That’s no fun, so why would I want to do that? We would both be happy if I pinched it instead **GRIN**

It’s night once more...er... early morining, and the beginiing of another glorious day. As I switched my pc on after returning from an afternoon of gallivanting, Jeeems message popped up to greet me. (I love beeen greeted this way. Makes me feel so tingly) One of the notes read, “I was hoping to catch you on ICQ early, but you must be out, about and having fun somewhere. I hope your day went well today!”

Actually I was unavailable yesterday and today, which by the way, was not because I overslept due to my staying awake till 3.30am (my time) this Friday to enjoy Jeeems romantic chat. I think I should mention here that Jeeem gave me hell for blogging a statement previously. He said, quote "you told the world that I kept you up. You are the on who kept me up” unquote. Well, I managed to calm him by telling him that I do not blog for the world but for myself. I must confess here, that I love a romantic ‘gentle man’ who is honest, humorous, assertive, and not afraid to take charge of me. He is a special man, and it does not surprise me that he won my heart.

Yesterday, (Saturday) after only 3hrs sleep, I awoke with the dawn; I had a good reason to do so. I was among the first people in the city center and got through all my chores before the place buzzed with crowds and queues of people. The reason for my trip to the most active part of the city was to acquire statements from various places (in order to prove my financial status), and then take it to a bank where I had to reveal my life's financial history, my assets and liabilities. All this is needed when applying for a business loan. Should the bank be happy with my history, which I know they will, my property will be assessed and it will then be decided if they are prepared to lend the money. Banks do not take a risk unless they have something to posses should their loan not be repaid.

‘Mr blog’, as you may recall, a financial institute for entrepreneurs who believe in my venture, have offered to guarantee 80% of my requested loan. I need to raise the balance of 20%. According to my calculations, taking into account my cash savings and personal fixed assets, I do not have enough, but hey! miracles do happen and I will never know the outcome if I do not give it a bash. I would not risk all I own (at my age) if I did not believe in my venture, so hopefully that will be taken into consideration.
I have just recalled my Irish friend, who lived in South Africa and now resides in Portugal. He e-mailed me saying that he wishes me well but at the same time also hopes my application fails. He stated that should things not work out for me, business wise or other, he would like to send me a plane ticket to Portugal so I can join him there and set up my business. He proposed marriage or sponsorship and stated that he hopes for the first. I reminded him that he blew his chances so the first is out.

Why do I want to start a business, you may ask? Well, I have many natural talents, am highly skilled in the industry and formulation of Italian ice cream, as well as financial and business management. My aim is to pass on my knowledge and skills to a young team (under 30yrs of age) and hand the business over to them once they are skilled and confidant to carry on. Too many people are unemployed, or do not have wealthy parents to give them a start in life. I would like to see others benefit through my knowledge, which in turn will befit future generations and create more employment and trading. Apart from serving my boss, who is presently contented with his lifestyle, I like to help people get on in life. Burying my skills and talent in life and death, as many actually do, will never benefit me or anyone, besides my boss.

I recall an inspiring song I loved listening to during my adolescent years. A young boy named Bobby Bream sang it. (I think) The lyrics I liked most were: ’If I could help somebody as I pass along, then my living shall not be in vain’

Life is wonderful. I love everything about it and am happy to be a part of it

Today was perfect. The weather was beautiful and so were the people.
I lazed in the city park, succumbed to the mood and beat set by the park band, mused myself surveying the actions of folk, and filled myself with edible goodies purchased from the flea market.
A man, whose bare feet mismatched his smart attire, came towards me with a silly grin on his face. He seated himself on the ground next to me, and said sheepishly, “Please give me money. I want to go home.” Naturally, I questioned him. He told me ‘sheepishly’ that he took his girlfriend to supper last night, (Saturday) and they had a little argument. She walked out on him and left with the car. (The keys were in her bag) He finished his meal, and then spent all his money boozing. He woke up this morning, (Sunday) in the park, minus his shoes and socks.
Whether true or not, was immaterial. I loved his story so I gave him money for his journey home.

The SA Workers' Union (Samwu) has been on a strike for more than a week.

The public service 9% wage increase settlement is seen as having a profound influence on the number of strikes and particularly in Samwu's dispute with the SA Local Government Association (Salga).
The public service wage increase has whetted the appetite of the municipal workers, who have rejected Salga's offer and opted to take to the streets instead. They are demanding 10%

"Today is the second week. If this carries on I will have to dig a hole and bury my stinking lava infested garbage.(good fertilizer) Dogs, cats and vagabonds are having a ball and the streets are littered with celebrated aftermath. Municipality workers are on strike, our roads are not been cleaned and garbage not collected. It amazes me how people adhere to routine".

Pearl/Shirl...... Jeeem is a nutter (as stated by

Chris) His nut, um... brain, will be confused after meeting me.

what's your inner flower?

[c] s u g a r d
e w

My inner flower?

The first paragraph is um... accurate.

The second, as known, is far from accurate. I need a very good reason to wake with the dawn

Shirl the Pearl is convinced that Jeem is responsible for my confused mind and is 'wondering what he will learn when he visits South Africa.'
"Shirl, you can stop wondering; He will probably go home with a confused nut." Och!

Sunday 7th July 2002
Ummm.... I have just discovered that the clock on my pc tray says that today is saturerday 6th. Mr Blog says It's Sunday and my daughter did confirm it this morning. Geez no wonder I am going bonkers. My calender did not help at all for it says that the year is 2001.
Lol Mr Blog.... As long as I am happy; who cares.

Mr Blog, You must be wondering why I posted my previous blog which was written on Friday, today (Sunday) instead of Saturday(yesterday) Well, my reason will come as no surprise to you.

After Jeeem reluctantly ended his chat with me at 4am (my time) Saturday morning, (because it was way past his bedtime) I went happily to bed and fell asleep immediately. I later awoke without the sound of the alarm or ring of the phone. (My alarm is never set on weekends; not that it makes much of a difference otherwise) I noticed that it was still dark so I turned on the light and checked the time. The clock said 6.30 “so that was the reason why it was still dark.” I went to the kitchen to make myself a cuppa and contemplated whether I should start the day early or enjoy a couple more hours sleep. Naturally, I decided on the later.

While I sat in bed inhaling my fist cigarette of the day and sipping my drink, I wondered why I could not hear the birds greeting the morn. My brain started working, telling me that it was evening and not morning, but I was confused and uncertain. I got out of bed and switched on the radio, hoping it would help me figure out whether my brain or I was correct. The radio did not help so I opened my door to see the actions of the neighbors. Their lights were on and their doors open, I tried to figure out if they too had just awaken. Oh boy! There was no way of telling apart from having to phone someone and ask what day or time of day it was.

At 7.30, I noticed it was not getting lighter so therefore decided that my brain was transmitting the right message. “Oh well” I said to myself, “might as well go back to bed and not upset routine. If it is Monday tomorrow, the phone will let me know”

This morning, I awoke to a beautiful sunny day. I felt tired, lousy and very confused. The phone did not ring so thank goodness it was not Monday. I phoned my daughter in Johannesburg who amidst laughter confirmed that today is Sunday and that I had slept through a day and night.

Well now that the record is straight, I am in full control of my senses, but dare not venture out of my home as I am still in my gown and slippers, my eyes are blurry with mucus and all I want to do is laze around and wait for nightfall.

What a wonderful carefree life I have.

Fri.4th

Whoo, whoo, whoo.I am so amused, but don’t know how to express myself. I wish I could stand on the roof top throw my arms into the air and exhale myself like this: “Whoooo– Wheeeee….” Or beat my breast like Tarzan, “Oo–Oo–Oo….Oo–Oo–Oo

Today I received via courier, my business plan which I had previously sent to a business support institution in Johannesburg, requesting advise on how to go about my venture. On opening the envelope, I found a note saying that my business plan was professional and well presented. (I personally did everything) They also stated that my phone interview was very impressive. (I recalled the day a gent phoned to tell me that they received my documents, then chatted to me very casually about the work I do and about myself. I chatted away nonchalantly and had no idea it was a scrutiny) I then flipped open my file and saw an attached letter with the heading, ‘To whom it may concern.’ The letter was for the bank of my choice and stated that should the bank approve my venture, they (the institute) will support me by guaranteeing 80% of the loan.

I think I should mention briefly, an incident that drove me in this direction:

Eight months ago, my boss went to Italy for a week, on business (he had been away many times in the past for lengthy periods, leaving the business in my hands) What made it different this time round was his girlfriend who shacked up with him after his divorce. She is a very unpopular pushy person who was married and divorced three times before meeting him, and is desperately trying to get him to be her fourth husband. The main thing I personally did not like about her; though I did not show it, was the way she always tried to impresses me. I felt she was doing this because my boss’s ex and I are very close friends. What I did abhor though was the day she attempted to french kiss me. I felt sick to the stomach and wondered later if she was trying to test if I may be a lesbian. I did not hold anything against her and felt that her and my boss’s relationship was none of my business.

Back to the topic. That particular week, when my boss went to Italy, her whole attitude changed towards me. (If I type in detail the stupidity of this woman, which I’d love to do, it will take up too much blog space) She insulted me telephonically in front of her alleged witness who she said was listening to what I was saying to her over the phone. I could not get in a word but she screamed at me as though she were responding … Gees how dumb! or, brilliant. Anyway, besides displaying the disgusting side of herself, she said that my boss and her were getting married a month after his arrival and she was personally going to sack me. (I wonder how she is feeling now; he has still not married her)

She phoned my boss almost everyday, while he was in Italy to complain about me, she cunningly jeopardise the business outlet and blamed me for it. She did not mention her episode to him, but lied through her teeth instead. Guess what? He believed her without hearing what I had to say. Well, I was not going to give in without defending myself. He showed me a piece of scrape paper with what he said she wrote word for word about incidents directly as they occurred, I could not believe how well she presented her self and the lies written or that he actually believed that crap.

I went home that evening, typed out my version, presented it to him and told him that I was going to deal with the matter through the law. I could almost feel his mouth go dry as he battled to control his breathing while slumping further and further as he read on. With loss of pride, (or fear) he started to reason with me saying that he and I have been friends for many years and that I must not take things out on him, as he is not the one who insulted me. He also said that he understands why I am angry and will not begrudge me if I do take the matter up with his girlfriend.

Well mr blog that was one reason I contemplated my own business. Another reason was to relate a message that I am a lady of integrity and can triumph without lowering my dignity.

Now, here is the twist of fate:

I told my boss that I had a secret to reveal, then handed him my business plan. When he reached the 3rd page, I stopped him and said “ the rest is personal” I noticed that he was not shocked by my deed so I commented about it. He said, “Eve you are an amazing person and nothing about you shocks me. I am very impressed and I take my hat off to you” He not only shook my hand and congratulated me, but beamed from ear to ear before he gave me a great hug that almost squeezed my life away.


He then went on talking about how ‘WE’ were going to go about ‘OUR’ venture and I immediately realised that he thought I did all this planning with him in mind. (huh… I did it for myself) I stopped him there, and told him that the reason I did not allow him to read my personal plan is because I have my own direction and I was offering ‘him’ the first option to join me. If he declined, I would go ahead with my plan and ‘he’ will have a very strong competitor to deal with.


Well, my boss is far from stupid, he is fully aware of my courage and knows that once I put my mind to something there is no stopping me, also I often come out tops with everything I endeavour, for I am not a loser.


He realised then that the ball was in my court; I was not making an offer to buy into his business but to go off on my own. He saw the big picture of us joining forces and started discussing where it could lead. I told him that it was past my working hours that he must think about my offer and we will negotiate on Monday. Lol, due to my degree of ESP, of which he is fully aware, I knew that he was visualising the big picture with himself in it and that he could not get there without me.


Ummm…. I wish I could be there to revel in the shock of his girlfriend’s downfall. She told me to my face that I was unintelligent and that she would ‘personally’ see to it that I end up in the bush where I belong and I must take her advise and look for employment elsewhere.

Whooo…. Wheeee… Who is the unintelligent bitch? Eat your words Mrs. power hungry, who cannot do without a man for support or to fight her battles. I will never lower myself to your level. I have dignity and you will never take that away from me.

♣…………………………….♣
PS// THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRIDAYS BLOG>>>>Jeem kept me chatting till 4am (my time) so I went to bed without posting this blog.

Dear, dear mom….smile.:) she is so, so sweet.
Yesterday she phoned to ask me if I am all right. She said that I had not visited for ages and she was very worried. I said, “don’t worry mom, I will visit you tomorrow.” “Oh!” she says, “I was worried about that, so I thought I’d phone to tell you that I will not be home tomorrow.” That’s fine,” I say, “I will visit next Sunday.” Actually,” she goes on, “I am going to the house and garden show, would you like to go as well.”

I told her that I went every year and it was always the same so I was not keen. “Your daughter is off your hands now, so you must think of yourself, you must go out and enjoy yourself my girl,” says dear old mom. I tell her for the umpteenth time that I am very contented with my life. She then tells me that she has never been to the house and garden show; so I say, “okay mom, what time would you like me to pick you up?

As arranged, I arrived at her home at exactly 11am. Before we set off, she again went on and on about me and my life; saying that I should think of myself now and not the family, that I have met many good men and I should think about settling with one of them. “Gee mom,” I said, “All your children are either miserably married or divorced, I am the happiest of the lot so why do you think it is wrong for me to be a spinster.” Dear, dear mom said, “Eve, you have a very good heart, you always put others first, it’s time to put yourself fist because you deserve to be happy and before I die I would like to know that you have a good man to take care of you.”
Well, it was good to know that she wanted the best for me, though I wonder if giving up my carefree life will be the best. Anyway, instead of arguing my point, I settled things by giving her a great, warm understanding hug.

The show, as I expected, was no different to the previous years. Mom and I walked around the place while I made notes of the items I intend purchasing. First on my list was a caravan with a dining area, fitted kitchen, gas stove, microwave, fridge, double bed, shower and toilet. Mom asked what would happen to the secretion when I flush the toilet. Ummm… I told her that my husband would see to that.

Next, we went to the pool area. Hmmm… I listed the one that had water spilling from a large jar into the main pool on one side and into a separate love pool on the other. (I say love pool because it can only accommodate two people.)
We strolled over to the rockery and water features. Every one was magnificent and while trying to make up my mind as to which one I should list, my eyes caught a feature further down the section. Oooohhh… It was awesome; the water surged from the top of the rockery into many rock formed pools of different sizes. I stood there in awe, picturing my partner and me bathing in the pool of water, relaxing on the rocks with the waterfall cascading down and the song of birds in the background. I scratched out the swimming bath and replaced it with the close to nature romance haven instead.

The next section had jacuzzies. Mom asked me where I would put it, as I had not chosen my house yet. She had a point there so I overlooked the one that had strong jet force and bubbly water. It would be impractical anyway, for I would rather spend more time on the rocks and in bed with my partner than soaking in a Jacuzzi.

My nostrils picked up the whiff of food and I suddenly felt famished. Mom wanted tea only but the outside food stalls had every drink except tea; so, we went into the indoor exhibition centre and headed to the food court. The place was like a tin of sardines; we had to squeeze our way through.
The food court had Seafood. Chinese, African, American, Indian, Boere, in fact everything to tempt the taste buds. With such a variety, I had trouble trying to decide, so I settled for lamb curry with mealie pap (instead of rice) and salad.(mealie pap is made with maize meal. It is the Zulus staple diet. Nobody makes it as well as they do.)

After my meal; and moms tea, we strolled together down the isles stopping to watch demonstrations and to survey items on show. At one stage I lost mom and went back to the last place I saw her hoping that she would do the same. 20mins later I attempted to look for her amongst the crowd and as I was about to give up, I spotted her standing about 150mts away from me with a very worried look on her face. I hastily wormed my way towards her hoping that she would not decide to move on. Well, dear mom was still there when I finally made it to that section and from there on, she held tightly onto my sweater.

Five hours later and after pigging myself with a huge toffee apple, biltong, honey comb crunch, 2 samoosas and a pancake we decided to call it a day. On our way to the exit, we stopped at the ice cream stall. Mom had her ice cream in a cup and I had mine on a cone (I enjoy licking)
At the exit mom bought me a white rose for my caravan and asked me where I was going to park the caravan as there were no houses or ground for sale at the show. ”Oh,” I said,” I will look for an Island with plenty of trees and fruit, park my caravan, set up my waterfall and live happily with nature. “Don’t worry,” she said, “Dreams do come true”

All went well this week, no hassles, perfect weather, and perfect people. I was no more than half an hour late for work the whole week, but felt very proud of myself in view of the fact that my clock was on strike and did not sound the wake up alarm. This I know for sure, for if it did its shrieking duty, I would have paid attention to its button, thus saving it from having to welcome me home after work. If this carries on, I will have to sack it and look for something with a horn. ‘Mmmm…. I like the sound of that’

Though everything went well these past days I’ for some unknown reason felt very withdrawn and still do now. None-the-less, I should feel better tomorrow after I mow the lawn, nurse and caress the plants and play with the soil.

Yesterday, Sat 22nd I met my friend Derik. We had not seen each other for the past three yrs since the navy relocated him to Cape Town. In the past Derik and I spent many wonderful years dancing as partners and enjoying life. We therefore spent the day filling each other in about missing links through the years and reminiscing on the past.

We settled for a light breakfast to start the day, walked around chatting while nonchalantly surveying places, then concentrated on a game of indoor golf.

For lunch/supper I decided on an Italian restaurant, which was recommended to me. We walked up and down searching for the place and when we were finally directed to it, we entered the vacant place and were escorted to our tables. The restaurant was done up very well. The walls, fitted with shelves, were stocked to the ceiling with bottled drinks and their stock and baking ingredients were neatly stacked on the floor between the tables. Though it may appear attractive to some individuals, I found it to be rather daunting as there was a lack of atmosphere and the sight of ingredient lying around made me feel as though I were in a warehouse, which in turn turned off my appetite.

The menu did not appeal to either of us, so when the waitress arrived for our order, I settled for a coffee with hot milk and Derik ordered an appletizer. We did this in order to be civil instead of rudely walking out After my coffee, which was served with cold milk, Derik and I chose a steak house around the corner, It had a good relaxing atmosphere and a succulent array of steaks.

After our meal, we strolled around again till it was time for Derik to go back to the navy base and prepare the ship for the journey back to Cape Town.

It was unbelievable how the day went by so quick.

I want to bash my head against a wall, violently yank out my rooted hair and – 
SCREE-EAAMM… 

Four days back, I opened mail from some credit bureau stating an irregularity in submission for SDL by our company to the revenue collection office, for their client, Seta. We were giving 14 days to declare in written figures under column B, our actual remittance adjacent to their figures in column A.


A glance at the form told me: -


   a. They were given wrong information. 

       I filled in and submitted returns with cheque payments for every
       consecutivemonth. Column (A) showed transmittal for only three.

   b. The three incongruent figures in section (A) were implausible

       They were way-out.


I did the following: - 

   1. Phoned the recipient and told them I could not fill in the form in
       accordanceto their requirements stipulated (in the attached letter)
       due to a major discrepancy. I then went into detail  

   2. Pulled out my files, found all the proof I needed and penned it in (B)
       column as requested telephonically.

   3. Faxed the confirmation. 

   4. Swore silently in profusion.


Today, I looked at a sealed, boldly marked, S.A. Revenue envelope in my hand. With mixed thoughts I opened it. The first words: - “According to our records…blaa, blaa. blaa…” made me ~*;*/*;?+!rr*’*~ …


Well, I went through the same old repetitive scene with the department. (A bit more intense today…refer to blog (6/10/2002 9:39:44 PM ) No way was I going to jump to their never-ending daunting demands. I am sick and tired of wasting time substantiating their incompetence. Before she relented to me this time, by agreeing to sort out her problem my way, she said, quote “If you don’t return the forms within 14 days you will be prosecuted” unquote.

Well, that did it. I replied by telling her to do just that; that I would gladly go to prison and proclaim the guilty party.


Oh well, my guess is as good as yours. I may get prosecuted for venting here as well.

Are we allowed freedom of the blog???

“Shiver me timbers” On my road to work I drove over a dog. I can still feel the thump of the impact and the unnerving sound, as the car bumped over him. That daredevil hound had played dodgem car/dog with me for months.

This morning, as with most mornings, he again tested my skill. I was driving cautiously as usual (35km) along that road, bearing in mind that the hound dog could emerge from either side at any spot and time. I also kept a steady central position in preparation to veer left or right.

My mind was on guard. My eyes on surveillance darted left, forward, right, forward, mirror, forward. I breathed a sigh of relief when they viewed the approaching safe spot while still doing their duty. Forward, mirror, forwww…oh gosh! There he was, on the left, 2.5mts (8’ 2”) from the vehicle and moving across.
I swerved left. He stopped; did an about turn, hesitated a sec too long before crossing back and… BOOOM…gad-ding, gad-ding…

“~I shivered~” as I felt the car bounce over his bones then, {{shuddering}} I drove on. The thought of having to look at a smashed dog trapped under the wheel made me feel eeeeehhh…. My stomach threatened to throw out its content and my brain gave orders. “move off the dog! Stop! See if dog is dead or alive.”

Stomach said, “Dispel! You can’t handle it”

Brain: - “Drag dead dog to bush… If breathing, reverse and end it’s misery…if injured find owner…. Show humanity!

As I caught sight of the bundle in the rear-view mirror, I thought… “Sh *~* t… What now!” I opened the door and – ‘holy smoke!’ The dare devil hound was picking himself up. He then shook himself into shape – skipped on three paws to the pavement – stopped, did an about turn and glared at me. Believe it or not, I actually felt the damn thing saying, “You bloody witch” I pulled myself together, closed the door, buckled up, started the motor and continued on my journey while the ‘freaking thing’ glared at me as I drove out of it’s sight

Just been to Jeeems musing blog and noticed that he is advertising the link to his urine drink. no wonder he cannot rid himself of that hysterical cough that deafened me.
Urine! Uurgh, have heard of it’s properties but tis not the drink for me; no way will I go on special diets and deprive myself from all the scrumptious goodies I love in order to drink my urine. I have been slurping yerba mate for the past 20 yrs because I just love been noticed.

The packets content is written in Spanish, which I don’t understand, so apart from feeling healthy I never knew if I was actually slurping urine or cocaine. 2 yrs ago I started wondering why I seldom got ill and most of all why I remained slim and youthful. (That’s what I think, and If I don’t say so, who will?) I then wrote to Argentina for the history and content thereof and I was not surprised by the benefits of this tea. I even drink it daily in the traditional way. (Wonder why I’m South African?) The yerbe mate from Argentina is better than the Brazilian one.
If you want your blog to be on google search then try spelling the name incorrectly as Jeeem is currently doing.

Want to know more about the herb of my youth and vitality? search Yerba Mate
Want to have your blog on google? type yeba mate in your blog
Want to know if urine is a cheaper version? Jeeem has volunteered as the gene pig so wait for the results.

Jeeem’s mail is finally on the way and should reach him a week from today. Been a holiday today, (youth day) as well as the comrades marathon (this year from Durban to Pietermaritzburg) Durban was very quiet and it was a pleasure to drive and shop at leisure.

I switched my television on at 1.30pm (the first time after nine months and yes! I woke early today because Jeeem gave me a reason to do so) to see how the race compared with previous years. Apart from more blacks participating, everything was exactly the same. I watched a woman riding horse back on a male and thought he was probably her husband. The poor guy was exhausted and his load was definitely straining him further, but each time he placed her on the ground she climbed back onto him. They were close to the finish line and the heavily burdened man tried time and again to lighten his load, but to no avail. She could not walk so she chose to ride him to the finish line instead of sitting by the roadside and maybe carrying on when she was able to.

An overtaking guy saw the dilemma and decided to be a comrade by assisting the horsy guy and rider. He attempted to drag the distressed damsel between the two of them but horsy man used this opportunity to get away and just before he reached the finishing line, the end of his gruelling run, the gun sounded and he missed his silver medal; making it for bronze. The camera did not show if the other comrade became the next horse. Well, that’s why it’s called the comrades’ marathon. I assume the two guys who missed the medal by a mere few minutes will never forget their comradeship and the silver medal that got away. Wonder if they will do the run again next year in comradeship.

A major difference I did note: The comrades’ marathon is now a competitive run and great prizes are given to the gold medallists; but it was still good to see thousands participating for the real reason “comradeship and the sheer enjoyment of having taken part” Those are the ones I truly admire as I love the humour they maintain throughout; they are the real comedians…eh ‘comrades’, who make the experience worth watching and the reason I turn my TV on. To them it’s not winning that’s important but rather enjoying one-day a year in agony

Many, many years ago, I ran 100km for charity and was surprised to be the second and first lady in. Not that it mattered as the whole idea was to finish the race and then collect the money from our sponsors. I did get an orange at the end of the run though and managed to raise R123.25, which was a fortune then. I battled with aches for a week and decided that once was enough thank you. I rather use of my oomph for something more exiting and enjoyable; muscle spasms have sweeter reminisces.

On entering the factory I went through the normal morning ritual of nodding my head and greeting each welcoming smily face by name while heading to the office. As I enter my boss ritually removes himself from my desk, we exchange ritual greetings and chit-chat ritually. He goes off to make our ritual morning yeba mate, I do my ritual factory inspection and chit-chat ritually with the workers. The boss ritually walks into the office, I ritually follow suit and we have our ritual morning blabber while ritually sharing yeba mate.

Nobody noticed that I was not ritually late today. I expected to be applauded and welcomed with a red carpet but – no such honour for another ritual day. I was only fifteen minutes late; that should go down in history. Oh well… Maybe they like giving me a wake up call.

____________________________________________________________

It’s that time of year again when the tax man attempts to sort out all his errors by bull- shitting companies into believing they have outstanding returns and payments for tax, site, paye and vat.
I hate the arrogant demanding way they deal with matters by sending letters like, "according to our records, bla, bla, bla… and ending with, kindly render immediately." This goes on month after month with a daily interest rate added for outstanding monies plus penalties for non-payment. This is how they scare people into immediately faxing off copies to prove otherwise.

Once proven innocent, do you think they apologise? Oh no! Not they. You get a phone call telling you that ‘you’ allocated the return for the wrong month and ‘you’ must write out a new return asking them to ‘please’ reallocate.
Well, blow me down if you don’t receive a call the next month telling you that according to their records you have not rendered a return for…(you now are given a different month)

Anyway, yesterday the name revenue office was once again piped into my ear. This time it went to my brain with a tingling sensation and ‘I’ responded like the big bad wolf. “Oh No!” I blurted; “not again! Do ‘you’ people know what you doing? ‘You’ mess things up and expect ‘me’ to sort it out; last month I was told I did not render a return for Dec2001 so – I faxed my proof; two weeks ago, I was told to fax proof of payment for March2001, are you going to tell me now that those months are still outstanding?

“No” she says, “ those months are paid, but according to our records you have an outstanding return for Feb2001.
”Well” I said, “according to my records I have receipts for every month, plus a year end reconciliation form from ‘your’ offices, stating that you have received payments and returns so, I suggest that you sort things out on your side because I don’t have time to do it for you”

“I can only sort it out when you fax the proof” she says, so will you ‘please’ do it now!” ‘Oh!’ I say, “so now you are my boss too, I’m sorry, but if you really want to sort out your confusion, send someone round to check my records, I don’t work for the tax office and the tax man does not pay me for the extra hours I work due to the set back you people cause.

From this stage onwards I felt the inner amusing side of me take over as I listened to her blabbering on in that ‘people scare’ tone of voice. I carried on in self-amusement, till suddenly the tables turned and it was not I who was repeatedly apologising.

Anyway before I blabber on non-coherently let me end by saying that she politely asked me to please help her with the task she was assigned to by her office. Now how could I refuse that? I enjoy helping nice people.

Today I received a very friendly call from the tax office. I was thanked for my patience and help and told that everything was sorted out.
Well, isn’t life great!…….. Till who knows; tomorrow, a month? when I will once again hear. “According to our records…

My weekend was very relaxing thank you…….and how was yours?

Really! So it’s another blue Monday mmmm…?

Oh, as I said. I relaxed. As in resting – you know!

That’s right I did nothing all weekend

Yes, I spent the weekend in bed.

No, I was not bored; actually it was very pleasant, I’m still floating on cloud nine.

(Well, that put a stop to the questions about my weekend)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night I logged into Jeem’s (so what if I forget the 3^rd “E”. eh..eh..eh) website to replace another star which mysteriously disappeared from his map.
"Lo and behold!"  "There was my potential prince"
Jeeem kidnapped him and with craftiness, is is trying to camouflage him.
“See for yourselves folk"

Now I know why Jeem kept me talking to my blank monitor for half an hour to hear his voice that never came through

 Visit the scene of abduction

BTW: Jeeem has closed off the entrance to his crime, but my link will take you there
Better hurry before he finds out

Today I popped a record of 25 bottles of champagne, some corks flying across the room and others neatly in my hand. I'v become quite an expert at this and seldom miss my targets, even when they are running.

I was lucky with today's lot as none of the bottles sprayed their sticky contents on me which make me stink like an old booser.After that came the dreaded part of tasting and been transformed into comedian of the day. Had the hotel ordered champagne and rose petal sorbet yesterday instead of the last minute today, I would have had a good meal in advance and drank less yeba mate. All the workers are tea totallers; besides that they only taste their favourite ice-cream anyway, so it is always left to me to do the tasting; - and they have a damn cheek to tell me that my ass is getting bigger.

Dad loved the special occasions we celebrated at home because mom would always say,"doug, Eve wont be happy without champagne" They both know that champagne makes me giggly and chirpy. Mom used to love the way I continuously babbled and entertained her in the kitchen and dad loved to hear mom having belly laughs. (By the way I always knew what I was doing)

I recall my very first glass of champagne after I got through half of it:- I went into the kitchen to help mom with the dishes;she told me to put slippers on because the floor was cold. As I was about to go for them I spotted packets in a corner, took out two and told her that I will only wear my slippers if she did the same. Hehehe.... she kept on laughing and saying, "No Eve, those are not slippers," but I insisted they were, till she finally relented and allowed me to put them on her feet (the packets) I then put a pair on my feet and chased her around the house telling her that I had a lizard in my hand and was going to put it down her back

The family and especially dad could not believe their eyes. Mom, the one person we all feared, the person who was forever in a bad mood, always nagging and never relaxed, was running around the house (which she forbade us to do) like a sqealing 3yr old with packets on her feet, enjoying every minute of it.

Relatives popped in for an uninvited visit at that moment. 'Oh boy!' I thought, 'now I am really in for trouble when they leave.' Mom hated unexpected or uninvited guests and to be caught off gaurd with packets on her feet was now even worse, or so we thought.

Dear mom surprised us all that day; she remained in a happy mood and kept laughing and commenting about the bubbles that went to my head. The guests loved my transformed mom and queried if my mom was the one with champagne bubbles in her head.

To date mom still talks about that day and whenever we have a family get together she will say ,"doug, Eve wont be happy without champagne"

I never made her wear packets again, but my dad loves to hear our giggling in the kitchen after I (and ??? mom) have had champagne.

Childhood memories

spring, as then, is still my favourite season; it signifies life and new beginnings. I loved the fresh clean smell of the earth when the rain blessed it with showers, and the beautiful coloured spectrum that arched in the sky when the rain was over.

The spring rain reminded me that it was time to plant mealie seeds which would yield sweet fresh meilies in summer (corn on the cob). The soils secrets fascinated me to the extent of claiming a section of ground in the back yard, where I could freely dig for gold and diamonds.Not having any luck, I finally gave up and turned to gardening instead, and proudly presented a continuous fresh supply of vegetables and herbs to the family.

My mom did not allow pets and gave away my cute snow ball kitten which I adopted without her permission. I therefore fostered the mice nesting under a hedge and kept a supply of water in my garden for my secret pet crab which got away one rainy day.

♥♥♥ I also adopted a tiny chicken that lost it's mom through venturing away from the group tour. She later turned out to be a beautiful affectionate red hen and it was not an uncommon sight to see her nestled next to me while I stroked her feathers. She loved those cosy moments and was always the first to welcome me home after school.' ♥♥♥

Alas -, her life came to a very abrupt, sad end, when my mom decided she was ready for the pot.
At the dinner table I looked at pieces of her shattered broken body mixed with gravy on top a bed of rice. I attempted to eat the rice but, before it reached my mouth, tears streamed down my cheeks; I could not even partake of that; so I slowly pushed the plate away. One by one the rest of the family followed suit, even dear mom was unable to eat my best friend.

"Mom murdered my feathered sister, in order to save a buck".

Sunday 2nd June 2002 1.15am

I made my routine monthly visit to my parents today or rather to my mom.My visit excites her so much, she does not give my dad and I a chance to chat. I recall spending most of my time with my dad during my younger years, so maybe she feels that it is her time now.
Anyway I don't complain, she knows what my taste buds and stomach enjoy and cooks up a storm when she knows it's time for my. visit.

Jeem wonders if I'v have sent him a concealed message and therefore requests a death while making love. Hmmm....sounds interesting, but then again I wouldn't want him to die making love to me. How will I cope with all the follow up request?

Reading the polyphasic sleep experiement actualy made me sleepy. Every sleep word hypnotised me deeper and deeper and now I am unable to keep myself from crawling to bed.

Yawn. looks like I've found a solution to my late nights......Yawn>>sleep beautiful sleep.

Good night...er... good morning

Visit South Africa

Say Hi to South Africa. Sign our guest book

Mr blogger is up to tricks again.....Today is Thursday 29th May 2002
**This time I know i'm right**

Today the overcast sky obscured the sun, but did not cloud another beautiful day.

After my ritual morning recovery, I gazed through my window, fed on the beauty of nature and drank the subtly scented jasmine air.

A male sparrow fought the ground for perfect thread while his mate fussily secured their nest. Two long tailed birds lovingly shared the fruit of a paw-paw tree and a meeting of minas noisily discussed the events.

A lonely azalea blossom announced that a profusion of beauties were preparing a show and clusters of peeping St Joseph lilies whispered, ‘spring is on the way’

While drinking in the beauty and peace, I gradually drifted into space; where past present and future became one and time and day did not exist.

Today, as with most days, I wore my famous moaner Lisa smile as countless past and future events flashed in my mind.

I am no mystery as many believe, I am warm and real; not a cold and lonely lovely work of art. The song does reveal many secretes though.
I will never be a writer or a spokes person as I find it difficult to focus on one topic; my pin brain is like the earth, filled with life’s experience while continuously rotating. Before I complete one sentence the second passes by, the third takes over and the fourth is about to enter, then – it is not only I who wonders what I am trying to relate. I either forget what I’m saying or combine all four. When this happens I either go right of the topic or my tongue gets stuck while trying to catch the word that got away.

I see a replica of myself in Jeem. I recall his first letter to me when I thought,(with a broader than usual smile) ‘Mmmm…. looks like I’ve met a match’.

I once told my boss that I could never get work done when he was around as he talked too much. His answer was, “Eve I say one word and you take over for the next hour” I took a bet that it was not so, and guess what? I lost. The sticky tape did not stay on my mouth too long because I taped my mouth halfway through the conversation and he could not bare the anxiety of having to wait a whole hour to carry on with the conversation.

Leo'nard'o>>> Jeem is curious about me and is determined to dig up all he can. Mabe we should start a team blog. He controls me by firing precise questions in order to keep me on the topics. It’s good he decided to do so before coming to Durban as it will take more than a lifetime to discover what makes me tick.

Not a bad idea though; I like the idea of having a Jeem boy. During the years of Verwood’s reign the Afrikaners referred to the Zulu men (who made and served their tea) as *umfaans*’ (not spelt that way but pronounced so) – which in Zulu means boys. I think they chose the Zulu term because *seun* The Afrikaans word for boy also means son. Later they were called kitchen boys and then they were given the name Jim and called Jim boys…

PS// I vaguely recall my alarm beeping this morning, reaching out to press the button then dosing off with a knight in thought. Fortunately I was only ½ hr late for work which saved me from the embarrassing phone call.

I greeted the day differently today. What a pleasure!
___________________________________________

This morn I woke with a knight in thought
Elegantly straddled upon a white horse
Captivating smiles and starry eyes
Transmitting beams of throbbing love
Time stagnating, no past no beyond
Just us soaring to oblivion


******************************************

the following are my previous and first attempts


Wondering Souls

Years have gone, years to come
Will we unite, my beloved one

We look to the East; we look to the West
Our minds are strong: our search goes on

Our spirits soar, our spirits die
Darling, do you hear my cry

We look to the North; we look to the South
Darling you my soul to find


impalpable love

Where are you; my darling mate
Everyday I dream and wait
The hours pass; the years have flown
I don’t give up; for you my goal

I feel you in my every being
When we make love so tenderly
Souls connected spirits one
Hearts a pounding, bursting love

Pressure builds up in the air
As you and I our souls do bare
Time stands still, the heavens explode
Darling, darling, beloved one

To my soul- mate

When I’m in need, you first to know
You project your love from the twilight zone
Caressing whispers, when I’m in despair
Make me feel you oh so near

My world is empty without you
As I go about my earthly dues
I’ve searched for you continuously
Forgetting the reason I came to being

Random gazes into space
Reflect mystic feelings that you await
Darling now I’ve come to know,
That in this life I’m on my own

When my work on earth is through
Darling I’ll be meeting you
We’ll rejoice once more in heaven above
As we embrace our eternal love

A smoking adventure
Monday 27th May 2002. 09.30pm
After the entry of my previous blog I gazed into a wardrobe for suitable attire. My home has three bedrooms; each one choked with array due to my weakness for clothes, even though I seldom flaunt them. A desperate need for smokes (the reason for my trip) clouded my mind, so hastily camouflaging my birthday suit with a trusty old pair of house jeans and a pullover, finished with a light spray of Calvin klein perfume (I’m hooked on eternity), I made my way to the hypermarket amid showers of debris transmitted by a fierce wind. (I decided on the hypermarket, as it is a one-stop spending spree under one roof).

On reaching my destination I felt relieved when a car guard hailed me to a vacant spot in the out sized chock-a-block parking ground. Walking towards the centre I observed the countless 4x4’s. Gees, these monsters cost the same prestigious amount as matchbox dwelling in Umhlanga. I also observe that the proud owners are Caucasians and Indians, and I wonder if the economy in South Africa is really as bad as the everlasting moans. Am I naïve to think that these vehicles are meant for the off beaten tracks like safaris? I am frequently asked why I drive a sports car when I seldom go out. (What a stupid question) Due to the misdemeanour I’m continuously hearing about, I think it’s practical to be prepared for a quick getaway. Anyway, back to the topic of shopping for smokes; or do I actually have one (I’m wondering… (As in thinking))

I reached the centre while been ogled, which by the way I am accustomed to and put it down to the fact that I’m a unique and not to mention, attractive lady. If you don’t mind me stepping off the mark; I would like to comment here that, throughout my life, I have on occasion been stopped by brazen people, who query which country I came from. I often wonder if it’s their way of been friendly or if they are actually telling me in a polite way that I don’t belong. Then again it could be a response to my every ready smile.
Anyway, once in the centre I decide to begin with brunch, so I walk straight to the eating section amid the ogling as usual, and it suddenly dawns on me that people might be picking up the scent of Calvin Klien and thinking it’s impossible to be emitting from me, and if it is so, I must have stolen it from my Madame.
I joined the queue at the restaurant and once I reached the front was asked, “ smoking or no smoking” I glanced at the teensy weensy smoke filled smoking area and for the first time felt disgusted by the site, I also realised that cigarette did not enter my mind until now. As I had not purchased my smokes and the thought of sitting and inhaling those fumes in a claustrophobic area suffocated me. (Thank goodness I have a home to smoke in and no people to complain about my habit) “Non smoking” I quickly replied. “ Table for one or two” was the next drastic question. I glanced around and answered, “one”. The waitress disappeared into the sardine filled restaurant and just when I wondered if she chose to ignore me due to no table for one, she appeared and beckoned to me. I seated myself at the small table for two, brazenly choosing the chair that faced the masses. The menu had nothing that could make me chirp (I can’t understand why a middle class person like me has a taste for fine wining and dining or feels at home at such venues).
My dearest friend Gabriel who resides in England has just entered my mind; the statement in the above bracket has caused me to recollect a topic we discussed. He is my muse and the only man who, to date, understands my existence and acknowledges me for the lady I truly am. He has a supernatural way of comforting me and leading me on. For reasons known to me, we may never get together again, in this life, but I will go on loving him forever. Among the many things he conveyed to me during his visit to Durban, were that I write down my thoughts, and have a go at poetry. I must remember to publish, on this site, one of the poems he composed for me so that I can cherish it every time I log in. I must also visit his site after I publish this. It is a long time since I logged onto his site.

Now where was I…Oh! The menu. Nothing appealed to me, but as I was starving, and did not want to draw attention by leaving, I ordered the hyper special, which was two eggs, two rashers of bacon, a slice of grilled tomato, about 10 fried chips, (the ones that are fried from their frozen state) and two pieces of dry toast. Coffee was not included so I ordered that separately.

The toast needed a wood saw and felt like cardboard to the palate but I handled it very well considering I’m a lady of style and etiquette. My teeth managed to grind the bacon that became edible only when mixed with the reasonably tasty poached egg. Well! I thought, what could go wrong with eggs, at least I have another one to enjoy. Politely pushing the toast and bacon to one side I ventured the chips and remaining egg.
Oh boy! A rubber egg. How in g-* -d’s name did they manage that! At that moment the waitress came up to me and said, “are you enjoying your meal ma’ame?” I felt the uncontrollable urge for self-amusement, (I always seem to find situations like this amusing, though I try not to show it) so I transmitted my captivating smile (an asset I was born with) and asked, “ Do you have rubber chickens in the kitchen, or do your chickens mate rubber ducks?” She looked at me curiously not knowing what to say (I’m used to been misunderstood so I’m not perturbed by the crazy thought she emits to me) so I try a different phrase, “This egg is inedible, look the knife is bouncing instead of cutting” I get the vibe that she really thinks I’m crazy, but apologises nonchalantly anyway with no attempt to replace the egg. (I wonder if she thinks I’m looking for an extra free meal)
As she walked away I gracefully sipped my iced cappuccino imagining it to be the best I ever had. I glanced through my eyelashes at the opposite table where confusing echoes were audible. (I was not using my hearing aid so that is how it sounded to me) Sitting at the table was a mowed down man making a feeble attempt to appear desirable with his clumsy behaviour, while at the same time making an effort to portray attention to his human female parrot. At that very moment his bunch of keys fall to the ground, ‘maybe they are both deaf and blind’ I think, because neither have noticed or heard it. ‘No wonder there is such a clatter’. I looked across the vast area and noticed that everyone seems to be enjoying his or her meal and I wonder if I was served someone’s scraps as punishment for stealing perfume. Thank goodness I did not wear my French perfume. Served leftovers at a table is better than eating it from the floor.

The waitress arrived with the bill and I handed over the plate of scraps politely telling her to compliment the chef and to tell him to seek the source of his rubber eggs. She accepted the plate and assured me that she would do just that. Picking up the folder and enclosed bill while pondering whether I should lay a complaint, I started my way to the cashier, but as I was about to pass the table with the deaf and blind couple he dropped his knife on the floor. I kindly stooped to the rescue; he attempted the same, but found my hand instead. I was about to apologise in his ear, but he beat me to it and said, “you beautiful”
I gave him my bewitching smile, thanked him in return then proceeded to the cashier with a singing heart.

On my way out I suddenly remembered the reason I was there, made an about turn to the cigarette counter, purchased a carton and made for my car. In doing so I was greeted by many people, as I wore a permanent smile and actually felt the twinkle in my eyes due to the stranger who touched my heart.

It is Sunday. The time is 12.39.
Mr blog never seems to get the time and day right so I have decided to do it myself. No wonder I get so confused.
I have just completed my chores of house cleaning and have run out of smokes. I am now forced to go out.
I thank god for cigarettes. If it were not for cigarettes I would die unnoticed in my home. Cigarettes force me to make a trip into the open, and while I’m at it I fill my trolley with scrumptious edibles to indulge in while enjoying my home and smokes.
I am off to the supermarket now, I think I will treat myself to brunch and hopefully someone will notice me while I’m out there. Who knows; maybe today is the day for me to find that friend who is waiting out there for me to show up.

This aint funny you know. I honestly dont know how it happened

Hi….It is Saturday and the time is 4.30pm. I have just awoken from sleep and feel lousy. I know it’s Saturday because the phone did not ring today. You must be wondering if I have awoken from a nap? Well No! I went to sleep last night. This is my routine. Sometimes I wake up earlier. Who cares, on weekends, nobody knows that I exist. Now that my business plan is complete and sent in for assessment, I have nothing to look forward to and nothing to do either. The sun is setting at this moment. I can see that it was a beautiful day today. I am feeling lousy, my back and joints ache. I wish I had someone to talk to. Maybe I should take myself out for a drive but that would be fatal considering the way I feel. I wish my business loan application is accepted. Having a business to take care of will be good for me, as I will have something to wake up for and something to do. I cannot see myself spending my remaining years this way. The only person who cares for me or knows that I’m alive is myself. Talking about been alive. I am starving at this moment so I will love and leave you so I can fill myself with some sort of nourishment in order to keep myself alive for the wonderful person who loves me. ‘ME’.

Hi Mr Blog….. this morning I made it once again through my painful anaesthetised recovery and while going through the final stage on the loo as usual, I imagined the phone taunting me. ‘Huh’ I thought; ‘ I’m awake so you didn’t catch me this time’. The taunting turned into shrieking. ‘Oh no, my boss! My clock fooled me again by displaying the wrong time’. In my half recovery, non-thinking impulsive state, I magically did an emergency trick with the loo paper so that I could stop the shrieking phone. While battling to see the time with glazed puffy eyes I try to compose myself. My head felt like a helium filled balloon, due to the disturbance. “Wake up Eve”, I told myself.
“Good morning,” I heard myself say, croakingly on the phone.
Caller: “ho ho hum bla bla”
Me: “Pardon,”
Caller: “ho hum bla ho bla”
Me: thinks ‘Oh, sh-*-t. but says’ “ Pardon,” (still feeling weak after my unconscious state, I want to sit but – I recall the emergency wad of toilet paper plugged in – you know where)
Caller: loudly, “ Sorry, did I wake you from your sleep?”
Me: Very twitchy about my state been so apparent and starting to get angry with this lunatic – says calmly and convincingly, “No, I’ve been awake for ages trying to deal with my headache”
Caller: “Are you miss Smith”
The mirror beckons my eyes, making me aware of the obtruding uncomfortable wad of toilet paper shoved up…. you know where.
Caller: “Hello! Are you okay?”
Me: “Actually my headache is much better than it was earlier…. Who are you?”
Caller: “Don’t you know? It’s Joe here.” “From work!”
Me: (feeling very stupid). “Oh Joe! Sorry, it’s this damn headache, much better now, give me a coupler minutes, I’m on my way” (I’m now convinced my clock has lost time. battery operated clocks never beep when the battery is dying, instead they slow down in the early hours of the morning.
Joe: “No! It’s not serious; I only have 40lts of milk, and want to know how much of the other ingredients I must use?”
Me: “I don’t have the recipe here, can you wait till I get there? Besides I will have to look for my calculator”.
Actually I’m still recovering, and the last thing I want to do is figures.
Joe: “No problem, while you look for the calculator I’ll get the recipe, then read it to you over the phone”.
Me: Thinks ‘Oh boy, now I have to walk to the lounge with this wad of – you know what – up my – you know what.’
Me: answers…. “Okay”
I squeeze, squish and shuffle my way to the lounge, get the calculator, squeeze a little harder to hold the – you know what– in place, about turn and do a sort of fast bouncing shuffle back to the bedroom while squeezing tightly with my – you know – to hold onto my wad of toilet paper.
(Back at the phone and not fully recovered from my unconscious state)
Me: Hi Joe!
’m afraid to sit, so I protect my wad with careful restraining manoeuvres, while trying to avoid the sight at the mirror.
Joe: You ready?
Me: “Uh huh”
He calls out the recipe and I write it down
Me: “Okay, How much milk do you have left?”
Joe: 40
Me on calculator: + - * % = * % = +=?? *! *?
Me: “Joe! Put 32kg caramel in 52lts milk”
Joe: “How much in 40?”
Me: “The recipe says 65 so if you got 40 you must put 52”
Joe: “The recipe is 40 caramel; 52 is too much”
Me: “52 milk. Not caramel”
Joe: “okay. See you later”.
Me: “Okay”
With that sorted out, I check the clock and realise that now; I am really late for work and still have to go through the chore of separating myself from the wad which by now was quite attached to my sexy butt.
On my way to work, it suddenly dawned on me that Joe had 40lts of milk. I almost freaked when I realised that I told him to add in 52 caramel instead of 32. Foot down on the accelerator, I beat the wind to get to work. On my arrival I rushed to Joe who said, “ don’t worry It’s okay” “What do you mean!” I asked. His response was,” I decided to wait for you because I only have 40lts of milk.
What a relief, and I wonder why I don’t have a man in my life? I’m capable of driving men nuts; they have no idea what they in for; or do they!

Hi mr Blog, how did you get here?? Can’t recall making you my homepage. Oh well as you are here I might as well tell you about my day.
Last night; umm: early this morning when I reluctantly went to bed. I say reluctantly because I hate going to sleep. I can’t understand why my eyes get tired and force me to do that, which in turn causes my mind to shut down against it’s will. Wouldn’t it be great if my eyes never get tired, thereby keeping me awake forever.

Back to the topic: I went to bed wondering what day it was. In the distance I heard very faint beeps, causing me to slowly turn my head in the direction of the clock, which told me via it’s hands that it had been beeping for the last half hour. ‘Incidentally I have a love hate relationship with my clock. I hate it for disturbing my beautiful sleep with the thought that it’s another boring working day. I love it when I actually do hear its beeps, because it saves me from the embarrassment of having to dive impulsively and unconsciously for the shrieking phone and listening to an unrecognisable sleepy voice that says, “ Eeevvve are you uure- wake, do you nn-knoww- it’s a working day”? (My Boss)
Back to the topic: The beeping clock told me it’s another day but, I lay anaesthetised in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness’ till I finally made it back to life. Still very groggy, I was aware that it’s a working day but wondered what day? While contemplating this I routinely made it to the kitchen plugged the kettle, worked my way to the switch that adds sound to the place, then to the wc where I finally recovered on the loo, wondering what day it was. Fully alert after a refreshing long shower, I finished the remains of my coffee and still wondering what day it was I went through the rest of my morning routine while at the same time trying to recall what I did during the passed days in order to work out what day it was. Finally! all that wondering paid off in the nick of time, because today the household refuse had to be put out for collection. Hastily, I headed for the trash bag and scooted up the driveway, only to discover that I missed the tuck. As I was about to make my way back, I saw neighbours trash in hand making their way to the pavement. What a relief; I was right on track after the confusion of not knowing what day it was.
At work everything ran according to schedule till the boiler technician arrived to do a service on a very hot boiler. I readily pointed out to him that he was a day early and that the workers were given instructions not to use the boiler tomorrow (Thursday). After a confusing difference of opinion, I decided to ask the workers what day it was and, to my horror, I was the only one who insisted that today is Wednesday.
With this revelation I sneaked into my abode this evening in order to avoid the neighbours. I am not the only person pretending not to see the dog-ripped refuse bags strewn on the pavement. Besides, nobody can blame me for that; everyone here knows that dirt day is on Thursdays, not Wednesdays. Another thing; dogs should not be roaming the streets.
Hehe, this should teach peeping toms a lesson. I wonder if they will follow me if I play a pipe or if it will be Christmas day if I wear Santa’s cap. Hmmm…. Seems interesting. I wonder………..

I have absolutely no idea what I am going to say here or why I’m here in the first place. I blame my dear friend JIM in Vancouver for this, he uses some type of magic, which controls my mind and causes me to do strange uncontrollable things. Jim, I am just as confused about the English language and am wondering at this moment if the name Jim is actually English? – Or? – Could it be Chinese? Spanish?? Japanese? Oh! I know; it’s Zulu. This actually takes me back to kinder garden where I learnt my first sounds of the alphabet in ‘English’. Gee I’ve just discovered that I knew Afrikaans back then; kinder means child, which means I went to child garden and not pre-primary school as we refer to these days; Oh Boy! now I know why I can’t comprehend the language. “Sorry for the diversion”. Anyway I was taught the correct way to make, sound, or is it say? the sounds of letters – ummm… the alphabet sounds??? – Oh well, you know what I mean.
Anyway, Jay was jh, Eye; ei and Em, mmm which means Jeem (Jheimmm) is actually the correct English pronunciation. Oh! But then, things changed when I got to primary school. Jay became Jay; Eye, Eye and Em, Em. Jayeyeem??? No wonder the poor guy is so confused, but then again so am I… Oh, well, who cares? He is such a great guy and a great pleasure to know.
My gosh, I actually had something to say. Not a bad start hmmm. Wonder if I will come back here? Wonder if Jim’s (Jeem’s) magic will leave me now. Oh well, It wasn’t too bad; could have been worse you know.